There are souls many of us have been blessed to share time with here on Earth. Their presence will never be filled again; their void will always feel apparent; their memory we’ll use to judge all other occasions.
Sadly, after these souls left this earthly place, nothing feels quite the same anymore.
Holidays and birthdays still come and go with the same regularity, only now they no longer have the same magic. We try to recapture some of it by recreating traditions, recipes, even looking at old pictures, but by the end, we’re reminded of their absence and grieve once again.
I realize that not everyone struggles with this sense of loss.
Perhaps some are better able to compartmentalize their feelings and find ways to keep moving forward. Though I suspect it more because they’ve never been blessed or were too blind to see these magnificent souls injecting our lives with joy, laughter, acceptance, and benevolence.
As I look around my home filled with warm, inviting colors, old photographs with smiles from the past, seating arrangements for comfort and conversation, and dining areas awaiting a cotton table cloth and white dinner plates for the arrival of another culinary creation, all I can hear now is silence.
Gone are the souls who would have been frequent visitors to my home. Dinners would have been shared, dishes would have been washed, games would have been played, music would have been enjoyed and stories would have been mutually shared through engaging conversation and often a hearty dose of laughter.
But as I said, all around me now is silence.
Those who remain see little importance in frequent visitations. Their time is their own and rather than share it with others they selfishly hoard it for themselves. Dinners and dishwashing, games and music, stories and conversation are meaningless unless they come with a purposeful occasion such as a holiday or a birthday.
Far too often, we simply don’t see the people, the amazing souls, right in front of us. We’re so wrapped up in our own lives and the trivialities we convince ourselves are so vitally important that we force many to live in that silence when rooms should be filled with never-ending conversation and laughter that brings tears to your eyes.
As for me my dear readers, I’ve held on to a vision of reality that no longer exists. I’ve tried to convince myself that individuals who have little empathy for the existence of others will somehow change to provide me with the magic I’m still missing and grieving. But I’m the fool here.
It’s time to say goodbye, to make peace with the realization that life will never be as it was again. To hold on to the memories and allow them to warm you on days when you’re cold is fine, but we must learn to live and accept the way life is now, as difficult as that might be.