“It Is What It Is” Means Beyond Our Control

“It Is What It Is” Means Beyond Our Control

Life & Living
I recently read an article on CNBC.com in which an associate professor at Columbia University recommended never using this common phrase in personal or professional conversations—"it is what it is." John McWhorter, who is also an author and linguist, says, "People say it when, really, what they mean is, I don't care." Speaking to Bill Gates on his popular podcast "Unconfuse Me," McWhorter said, "The first time someone said that to me was when something unpleasant had happened to me, and he didn't care. And he said, 'Well, it is what it is,'" McWhorter said. "And I parsed it and I thought, 'What a gorgeously chilly way of saying: Your problems don't matter to me.'" While I certainly can understand why McWhorter believes that saying "it is what it is" simply means someone doesn't…
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Loneliness and Alienation Can Be Solved with Unsolicited Kindness

Loneliness and Alienation Can Be Solved with Unsolicited Kindness

Generosity & Kindness
Between all the negative headlines in our communities and political forums exist stories no one is talking about, even those impacted by their realities. Stories of loneliness and alienation; private battles often masterfully concealed by ordinary people unsure how to ask others for help.  The story I’m about to share is one of those stories; a reminder that this journey through life should never be solely about self-gratification and a lack of true compassion but rather a mission to provide genuine kindness and acknowledgment to others, especially when no one is asking. Let me explain. Recently, a thirty-year-old man set out on what appeared to be nothing more than an ordinary stroll across the Golden Gate Bridge in San Francisco, California. A popular attraction and destination during the afternoon hours,…
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Life’s Greatest Lesson is Often Overlooked

Life’s Greatest Lesson is Often Overlooked

Love & Relationships
My first reading of Mitch Albom's inspirational memoir about his revered sociology professor was back in early 2000, at the urging of my then girlfriend (now most treasured wife). The book is Tuesdays with Morrie: An Old Man, a Young Man, and Life's Greatest Lesson.  Since that first reading, I've revisited the now-famous memoir several times over the last 23 years - most recently, last evening. While a short read at around 192 pages, I had never begun and completed my reading all within the span of a few hours. But on this particular night, that's exactly what happened.  As I lay in bed reading through the last few pages while my wife slept comfortably next to me and tears now moistened my eyes, I was yet again profoundly impacted…
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Slaves To Devices Leads to Anxiety and Disrespect

Slaves To Devices Leads to Anxiety and Disrespect

Information & Education
In Jonathan Lee’s book, Overthinking: Declutter Your Mind, Stop Worrying, Relieve Anxiety and Eliminate Negative Thinking, he writes: “We are fascinated with technology, and every aspect of our lives has an impact. We are slaves to devices that were meant to improve our lives and prefer a fast fix to real-world interactions and experiences for instant knowledge and low-quality entertainment. We spend hours on social networks. Our inboxes are inundated. Our desktops are covered in litter. Our laptops burst at seams with more papers, images and downloads than we have been able to handle in life. Digital "things" fill your time with non-essential tasks and like your home's physical disorder, digital disorder causes feelings of distress, frustration and feeling overwhelmed.” What caught my attention in the above paragraph is Lee’s…
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Smells Trigger Memories That Last A Lifetime

Smells Trigger Memories That Last A Lifetime

Life & Living
Among other things, our brains operate as the hard drives of our bodies - harnessing data, experiences, and moments in time that are available for searching, sharing, and remembering whenever the need arises. For many of us, accessing joyful memories is often ignited through our sense of sight, as photographs and videos often transport our present day back to another place and time. But researchers are discovering that smells trigger memories more effectively than other senses. From Discovery.com:  When you see, hear, touch, or taste something, that sensory information first heads to the thalamus, which acts as your brain's relay station. The thalamus then sends that information to the relevant brain areas, including the hippocampus, which is responsible for memory, and the amygdala, which does the emotional processing. But with…
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