Grow Up With Wisdom – Not Stuff

“Let the next generation grow up with wisdom, not just things.” – Dave Ramsey.

The other night, my wife and I were channel surfing when we stumbled upon a movie that had just started and seemed somewhat interesting. Unfortunately, the title eludes me now, partly because I suspected it was one of those terrible made-for-TV movies, and remembering the title would only take up valuable space in my brain.

The film centered on a relatively affluent family residing in a picturesque neighborhood of a major suburban city, whom I’ll refer to as the Johnson family (I’m not great with names from fictional movies).

The family consisted of a father, a mother, and three children: a teenage son, a teenage daughter, and a youngest daughter who was almost seven years old.

Many viewed their lives as idyllic, living in beautiful homes, driving luxury cars, and sending their children to prestigious private schools, often spoiled to the point of excess, which bred behaviors of entitlement—even toward their own parents.

As a family, except for their seven-year-old daughter, who ultimately serves as the voice of reason in the film, they were all preoccupied with maintaining an image of superiority regarding their situation in life and material possessions.

Each member was incredibly self-serving, which resulted in the family being profoundly disconnected from one another, more concerned with what was happening on their phones than with the interactions occurring right in front of them.

Their perception of what was valuable and essential in their lives was superficial. They believed that owning the “best of everything” would guarantee that they were admired and respected by those with fewer resources and opportunities in society.

They viewed their time as more valuable than that of others and rarely felt remorse for using their packed schedules as an excuse to avoid helping community members who may have been struggling.

During one memorable scene, the youngest daughter, who played the cello as part of a Christmas concert recital, sat down in her chair at the center of the stage and looked out to find her family.

When she did, she noticed that her mother appeared unfocused, likely lost in thought about all the things she needed to do. Her father and older sister were both furiously texting on their phones, while her older brother was preoccupied with his girlfriend, who sat beside him.

Although her entire family had managed to “show up” for the young girl’s performance, they were not truly present; they showed little interest in her or in each other. Instead of performing, she walked off the stage and told her teacher that she just didn’t feel like playing. The young girl somehow managed to grow up with more wisdom than the rest of her family.

The Johnson family came to understand a truth that many of us are already aware of: everything in life is temporary.

The father, a prominent real estate mogul and investor, was laid off due to an economic downturn in the market. Believing he would easily find a new job thanks to his contacts and years of experience, the family maintained their usual lifestyle to preserve the image they wanted others to envy.

Part of his role should have been teaching his children to grow up with wisdom and humility, not just things. But when adults lack these traits themselves, they cannot guide their children responsibly.

With no income coming into the household, the family resorted to leveraging everything they owned. They drained their savings and placed additional liens on their home, desperately trying to project an image of success and superiority that wasn’t true.

However, a year later, the father still hadn’t secured a new position, refusing to let his wife take a job to maintain the facade, which ultimately left them penniless and homeless.

After years of flaunting their superficial lifestyle to family and friends without any shame, they eventually realized that those same friends and family were not there to support them when they needed it most.

In fact, some took satisfaction in seeing that their self-serving, materialistic ways had finally come back to haunt them. Suddenly, they found themselves completely alone and unable to adapt to a new life that was no longer defined by material possessions and status.

It only took one unexpected and unplanned change in their circumstances to completely derail the misguided life they had always believed was so important.

While I would like to think that such a family exists only in fiction, the unfortunate reality is that many of us are likely familiar with individuals like this in our neighborhoods, workplaces, and even within our own families who are unable to grow up with wisdom.

Some of you reading this might think it’s impossible to be out of work for over a year without securing a new opportunity, but I can tell you from experience that it’s not that uncommon. A few years ago, I found myself in that exact situation, and I’ve known countless others with remarkable talent and extensive experience who have struggled for just as long, some even longer.

This is where the movie highlights something that many of us take for granted: the assumption that our current circumstances will always be stable, that downturns won’t disrupt our daily lives, and that we will avoid the peaks and valleys that often burden others.

Many of us define ourselves by money, status, and possessions, failing to realize how empty our lives can be. The things we use to identify ourselves become insignificant when we face difficult circumstances.

Those of us who have experienced joblessness, homelessness, financial struggles, illness, and more did not wake up one day expecting that our lives would change dramatically. We didn’t anticipate being forced to pivot in ways that would significantly impact our future, robbing us of feelings of security and normalcy in the process.

Grow Up With Wisdom

I learned many invaluable lessons about finances from my father and grandfather growing up, lessons that still guide me today, regardless of the circumstance or situation I find myself in.

Both my grandfather and father were dedicated laborers; my grandfather was a machinist, and my father was a mechanic. They respected and appreciated every dollar they earned, and their ingenuity, creativity, and resourcefulness enabled them to live a comfortable life, albeit one that was not filled with the extravagances often associated with success today.

The one thing they had was the wisdom to understand what truly matters in life, recognizing that superficiality is neither sustainable nor authentic. Instead, the image we present to the world should be rooted in kindness and goodness, rather than in material possessions that we hope will mask our insecurities and desires for dominance.

Parents increasingly cling to the belief that showering their children with material possessions equates to successful parenting.

They strive to showcase that their children’s every need and desire is merely a click away. Unfortunately, in this pursuit, they often neglect to impart the vital lessons of responsible money management, inadvertently allowing money to wield control over their children’s lives.

These parents operate under the misconception that having financial resources means they should continually acquire more. In doing so, they feel compelled to flaunt their achievements to family, neighbors, and society, desperately seeking validation that they have truly ‘made it’ in the world.

This mindset not only undermines meaningful lessons about value and purpose but also risks raising a generation unprepared for the realities of financial responsibility.

Personal financial expert, Dave Ramsey, says this: “It’s easy to think that loving your kids means giving them more stuff: nicer clothes, a new iPhone, the dream vacation. However, if we only give our kids material possessions, we’re setting them up to repeat the same financial mistakes we made. Real love is teaching them how to work hard, save money, give generously, and stay out of debt.”

About 25 years ago, my grandmother gifted me a royal blue terrycloth robe for Christmas. I became accustomed to wearing it after every shower, and I still use it daily today. While certain areas are becoming threadbare and a few holes have been sewn up over the years, the robe continues to serve the same purpose as it did when it was new.

Although it may not be as modern or stylish as some of the robes available now, I’ve learned that money is merely a means to an end and not a way to define oneself.

While some might be appalled to wear anything from last season’s fashion, my royal blue terrycloth robe is still perfect for me. It serves as a constant reminder of someone I loved dearly and reinforces the idea that accumulating more possessions, especially unnecessary ones, is not a measure of success.

Living simply, humbly, and generously—leading with kindness rather than superiority—is what people will never forget—people who know why it’s vital to grow up with wisdom, not stuff.